youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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