i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize