Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
