please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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