i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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