Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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