just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
