Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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