An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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