What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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