At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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