come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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