I have demons in me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
