before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
