I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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