Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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