Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
