MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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