I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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