I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize