hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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