imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
