i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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