I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No subtext here. People are naked.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
