Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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