dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
