He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
