would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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