I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
