I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
