i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
