the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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