I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
