I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
