where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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