Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
