Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
