So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
