Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
