using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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