batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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