so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
