That's intense
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
