things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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