the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize