just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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