That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
