is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
