Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
