You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
