sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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