I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The beer is more important than you right now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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