She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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