I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
