Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
either way he was missing a nipple.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
