I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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