I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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