That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
high people should be assigned attendants
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
