I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
