My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
