I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
