Barsexuality is the new black.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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