those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
