well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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