Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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