I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
