wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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