My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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