He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
