it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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